Horsey Burgers and Cheezy Fries, and me on the radio, such a surprise!

Vegan Equine Burgers

<-- that's two horse burgers right there - TWO!  (I told you I was going to 'double down'.)

So, to start this off, let's review.  Last week, they legalized horse meat.  This means - wth?  Really?  NOOOOO!  (well that's what it means in my language.)  The horse is the most wonderful animal ever.. they're fearlessly loyal and not to mention sweet lil cuddlebugs if I ever did know em.   I'm telling you, America.. we are out of control.  PLEASE DON'T EAT THE HORSIES!  So, in honor of all the horses I ever loved.. I decided to make a vegan equine burger, filled with stuff horses eat, not stuff INSIDE horses.  (ack phooey.)   I know you're going to ask me though.. was there GRASS in that burger?  ^^take a look, do you SEE GRASS?


----waits-----

YES, there IS grass in that burger!  Grass, barley, oats, carrots, salt..etc.  I made an equine burger that any horse would be glad to consume.  But, let me start out at the BEGINNING of my day first.

I was on the RADIO today! 

me and my best radio face.

Ms Amy K (Of cheezyless, crabbyless alfredoish and peppermint pie, fame) hosts a radio show on WVQC, and I joined her today to talk about this very blog, and my adventures in being vegan.  We also laughed about a few things, and bitched about some here and there while off the air.  It was fun.  I thought I'd be more nervous, but really - I wasn't nervous at all.  I had fun talking to you guys - my 3 fans.  (lol).  And if you missed it, I'm afraid you're out of luck because I do not think they record their shows.  What was neat was that we were sitting in the studio with a Cincinnati pig on top of it.  :)  Yay piggie parade!

Anyhow. I gotta post this for you all, because I know lots of you get a kick out of the messes that I make while cooking (probably because you know how paranoid I get about my house being a mess.)  While I was getting ready to cook tonight I had a small issue with the oats.. they didn't want to stay in the box!

What a mess!

So, before I could start I had to clean the oats outta the barnyard with my trusty lil mini vac. (Thank goodness for mini vacs)   Then I began.  I cooked up my oats and my barley, mixed up a yummy mixture of grass, carrots, etc to mix it up in and prepared what I am now calling:
Maximus Potato Fried 'Disks'.  (for those of you who don't know who Maximus is - SHAME ON YOU!)  --->

Maximus will now attempt to kill you.

Innit he cute?  <3    In honor of Mr Max, I made these cheese fried disks.. why? Cuz he's a cheezy horse!  I shall now ask you to go endulge yourself in 'Tangled'.. you won't regret it.

Ok, so anyway I prep the potatoes, as my grains are cooking and while I'm doing that, I make myself a raspberry creme soda (with flat soda - oh well, it was yum)

look at the poise and grace in that drink!

Flat soda or not, the time was coming to mix the grains into the grass.  (Does that sound weird or what?)  So that is what I did.

Then, it was time to bake.

I couldn't go very far because I had to turn the things every 15 mins.   I chose the baking route, not only for the burgers, but for the 'fries' as well.  Considering frying isn't quite as healthy as baking.  Not that I'm opposed to frying in any way shape or form. In fact, there's nothing better than 'fried vegan chicken'... or anything else I've fried in the past.  Frying = love in oil.  lol.

So, once these things were out of the oven, they were ready.  One side I had cheese fries and the other I had burgers.. and I have a pic of the fries (burger up on the first shot)..

It's hard to make cheese fries look good - even with real cheese, you can only glop the stuff on.  But rest assured, these things were DELICIOUS.   

So my Saturday was packed.. with fries, burgers and soda.  I'm a walking vegan Steak and Shake, folks!   So now that this veganization is over - (the one for the horsies).. I will go back to doing work from the office, and then take a lil spa night for myself.. I'm ready to slather chocolate masque all over my face and give my toesies and fingers a pedicure and a manicure.  

As far as the next veganization- we're really going to start pumping up the holidays!  The next one, it's going to a partaay.  After that is my Christmas breakfast veganization, and then - OMG HAPPY NEW YETI (yeah I said happy new yeti.).  Bet you can't wait to figure out what THAT means! 

Have a beautiful weekend everyone!  Whinny, whinny, neigh, neigh!
Be kind to the Equine.


Music enjoyed while cooking:
Moby - Down Slow
Assmblage 23 - Horizon
Depeche Mode - Dream On
Mary Poppins - Jolly  Holiday
The Muppets - Mahna Mahna
Manfred Man - Do wah Diddy
Billy Crystal and John Goodman - If I didn't have you - Monsters Inc
Ladyton - Seventeen
Mono - Silicone
Emailiana Torrini - Unemployed in summertime
Jem - They
Lamb - Gabriel

Current Craving:
Something chocolate, surprisingly.

Current Motivation:
It's all about the horses!

The original "Horse Meat".

Frou Frou!

So, last week there was a big overspill of anger in (several) communities because they lifted the ban on horse-meat.   I for one, am appalled.   There are arguments that say:  "Why not?  It's just like eating cow meat, deer meat, etc".   Maybe so.  But when most people think of cows, they don't usually think of their best friend that rode them into the sunset.   Roy Rogers didn't ride a cow named Trigger, did he?  They didn't send cows into battle did they? You never heard of prince charming on his white COW now have you?
-No indeedy. -
He's on his trusty horse.  His pal.  The one guy he can count on.  So, my question is.  Would you eat your dog?  (Yeah maybe I sound like the fools that ask me 'what next?  They'll allow people to marry their cats?'  Bite me.)

I think this is where people are getting all sorts of bent out of shape.  I personally am getting bent out of shape because I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE (have ever since I was a tiny thing) horses!   Love.  Did I say I loved them!?

So - that pushes me into my next veganization.  You see, every year I'd ask for a horsey for Christmas.  I got a couple (plastic ones).  Let's remember "Clip Clop".  (Did anyone of you not reading this have a clip clop?!)  OMG I did.  Later on in life though I ended up un-springing him and turning him into a 'carousel horse' for my neicage.  Now I think that Corinne has him.  I'm not sure.  

Comet and I!

Closest I've ever got to 'having' a horse was to get to go horseback riding every now and again.  Latest time being this October.  See me there on your right?  That's me and Comet.   Comet was a blast.  She was also naughty naughty.  But it's ok.  I love her. <3  I made sure to give her extra kisses before I left.  Surprisingly enough the horse guy didn't look at me like I had three eyes as I loved on her.  She was brilliant.  I want a Comet.  I'll never GET a Comet, but I want one.  :)

Every now and again I would also get to help the ex with the horses down the street when she was put on horse duty.  We'd muck the stables and feed Jack, Jones, Typhoon and Zephyr.   (Ty and Zeph were mini horses - omg so cute).  I miss them.  Much like I miss my big headed dog.. but I digress, let's move on.  This is about food - not me!

I've decided for this veganization (since it's just me).  I am going to make Equine Burgers.   (This is when you pipe in.. "WHAT?  THIS IS A VEGAN BLOG!  HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!?!")
Chill a moment, folks.. don't lose your cool ok?     When I say equine burgers, I mean a veggie burger filled with the stuff a horse would eat, NOT filled with horse!  (Yeah go me, horses are vegans too!).  I'm thinking a throw down with lentils, alfalfa, oats, corn, apples carrots, oh and don't forget salt.. (what horse doesn't have a salt lick?)    

I think this is brilliant - and I'm going to base it on what an actual (shoot if i can find ANY nutritional info on it) real 'horse burger' would be like.   Only, less horsey. 


Numbers?

Horse Burgers                                                  Vegan Equine Delights
Calories - 133                                                        134 (oh close!)                                         
Fat - 6g                                                                      2g                                       
Cholesterol -52mg                                                   0mg                                                   
Sodium  -452mg                                                      303mg                                                                   
Carbs   - 3g                                                      22                                                                                   
Fiber - 0g                                                                 8                             
Protien - 21g                                                           9                                                                              
WW Pts -  4                                                              3              

I wonder what Mr. Ed would think of this burger?                                      

willbuuur!

Ok so now that I need to get back to my work, I will prepare a culinary cabaret of goodness and blend it into one of the best burgers a horse would be THRILLED to eat.  Top it with a tomato, some spinach, some pickles (mm pickles), and other goodies and double it down on Saturday night.  (I'm such a partier - here it is Christmas and I'm making veggie burgers and probably watching bad tv on a Saturday night - ALONE.)  No matter.. this is for all the horses I've ever known.   For all the horses I've loved before... doot doo doo doo doot.

Please don't eat the horses?

Music Enjoyed While Blogging:
Nada - Nothing - Zilch.

Current Craving:
Un-Chicken Tetrazzini in my fridge

Current Motivation:
To show the horse world that "I" personally care!  xo!