Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A few of my favorite things - NOT. - or, let's talk about German ghosts.

Augustus Kroll - 189?
Has anyone seen this man to your left?  Anyone?  His name is Augustus Kroll, and he's been irritating the schnitzel out of me for DAYS.   If you've misplaced him, please come and gather him up.   This man is a spirit.  Died in November of 1874. He resides in my (of course) German made car.  Unless perhaps, I'm anywhere but my house (and occasionally) my office at work.  Although he's made a few appearances there.

Before you write me off as a crazy nut that doesn't get enough B12, I'm going to tell you I'm not really the only one who's experinced me, experiencing him.   He just so happens to want to spend time with me, cause me pain, irritation, sometimes bouts of nausea, light headedness, and crying fits.  Oh, he's not a nice man.. even though he looks like a nice ol grandpa.  He's not really so nice.   Now, he's been accused of something horrible.  He says he didn't do it.   Do I believe him?   Yes.   But that still doesn't stop me from thinking he's not a nice guy.  He's making me miserable.  He has until black Friday - to state clearly what he needs from me, or he's seriously going back, any way I can find to get him there, to Walnut Hills Cemetery where I unfortunately obtained him, on October 28th.

So, now that you're even more convinced that I'm lacking B12.  I just want you to know.  I don't want this ability to deal with disembodied spirits, however it's apparently a gift that's been bestowed on me.  I'm not the only one.  But this 'gift' does exist - and I had it when I was a meat eater too - so let's not blame the ol' B12.

Moving on.   Since I'm being run over with German (I'm trying to learn basic words to talk to this guy because we have this really bad communication gap, I don't speak German, he doesn't speak English very well).  For some reason  - (oh and he has a sense of humor too - he turned my Pandora on the other night, for the second time,  all on his own and decided he wanted me to hear 99 Luftballoons  and even after I researched the lyrics from German to English - I'm not real sure if it made sense to me.) Anyway, for some reason in my head (and this I think is more Austrian  than German, but whatever.) I constantly want sing about Schnitzel with Noodles.   (Let me know when I've freaked you the crap out.. and I'll continue!  J/K.) 

So I've decided to dedicate this veganization to Augustus AND Hattie.  (Don't ask about Hattie.. she's not visited me, but she's the reason I'm dealing with this fellow, no doubt.)
I was thinking about doing Goetta.. but I really started thinking hard about it, and the more I thought about it, the more it just kinda grossed me out.  It's like a kitchen sink.   I've only ever heard a few good things about it from people not on TV.. and I think Augustus was not thrilled with the fact that my initial german veganization was going to be goetta.. and I'm about certain that if I were to be in contact with him right now - he'd be playing Julie Andrews on my Pandora in attempt to change my mind.   So in true Sound Of Music style..  I'm going to make Vegan Schnitzel with Noodles.    Aka - August and Hattie's Vegan Noodle Schnitzel.  I will do them proud.  Moreover - I'll do my Hattie prouder.   Because, Augustus?  He's just UGH.   Regardless, let's do the numbers on this Von Trapp favorite, shall we?

Schnitzel With Noodles                                   A&H Vegan Noodle Schnitzel
Calories - 422                                                                  221
Fat - 15g                                                                            5 
Cholesterol -89mg                                                              0
Sodium  -855mg                                                               445                               
Carbs   - 39g                                                                    18
Fiber - 5g                                                                          2
Protien - 33g                                                                     15                                                    
WW Pts -   11                                                                    4   

Traditionally, schnitzel is made of veal.   Now, I COULD make you all feel really horrible and show you a picture of a veal cow here - but let's look at this cow instead. 
oh yay, no one's goin' to eat me!

Also, let's take a short jaunt down the noodle road in history with this dish:
Schnitzel (German pronunciation: [ˈʃnɪtsəl]) is a traditional Austrian dish made with boneless meat thinned with a mallet (escalope-stylebread crumbs and fried. It is a popular part of Viennese, Austrian cuisine and German Cuisine. In Austria, the dish called preparation), coated in Wiener Schnitzel (Viennese schnitzel), is traditionally garnished with a lemon slice and either potato salad or potatoes with parsley and butter. Although the traditional Wiener schnitzel is made of veal, it is now often made of pork. When made of pork, it is often called Schnitzel Wiener Art in Germany. In Austria, by law it has to be called Wiener Schnitzel vom Schwein (vom Schwein meaning from pork or pig) to differentiate it from the original. In Austria and Germany, the term Wiener Schnitzel is protected by law, and any schnitzel called by that name has to be made from veal. There are also regional versions of schnitzel, such as Salzburger schnitzel, which is stuffed with mushrooms, bacon, onions, and other various herbs.
There is a debate as to where schnitzel originated. Some claim Milan, northern Italy, as cotoletta alla milanese, though others say it appeared in Vienna during the 15th or 16th century. One hypothesis is that it could have been brought to Austria during the Battle of Vienna in 1683 by Polish and German troops. According to another hypothesis, it was introduced in 1857 by Field Marshal Radetzky, who spent much of his life in Milan. The term Wiener Schnitzel itself dates to at least 1845. Variants of this dish are common around the world.

Well then.
                                          Here's what it's supposed to look like!

                                                                                              And here's who's going to eat it!
Only, that will be me in some swiss alpine dress, in front of my kitchen stove singing and twirling about.. unless I have another person or people to play Von Trapp family with me, then I might have bunches of people eating this food with me!   Maybe I'll take a plate out to the ol VW bug and see if it dissappears?

Regardless, this is where the next veganization begins.  Oh Sigh.
Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens.. bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens.........etc.

Music enjoyed while writing this blog:
"Favorite Things"  - The Von Trapps (in my head)

Current Craving:
Home Made Noodles (the kind grandma made).

Current Motivation:
Soothing the savage ghost.

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